“Dead Sea Squirrels” by Beth DeMeo
April is National Poetry Month and as the month draws to a close here is a poem for all of us who enjoy the fun you can have with language. I believe these are called malapropisms, but whatever they are they are funny! Thanks to Melanie for passing the poem along.
Dead Sea Squirrels
Right from the gecko
She put in her two senses;
No tudors in the writing center
No ten minuets on the computer
No number of classroom lesions
Could be taken for granite.
She would have her paper view,
Her deceleration of independence.
“Life,” she wrote, “begins at contraception.”
She wasn’t a pre-Madonna,
Wasn’t interested in the Higher Archy;
It was really one in the same,
A mute point, considering her verbal jesters,
But a bit of a nuance if
All her class precipitation wouldn’t be worth wild.
She studied the dead sea squirrels
And the broke period,
And the mid-evil
And the futile system
And the reasons for a military to protect the boarders;
History, time in again, was a doggie dog world
With no daycare faculties.
She defiantly liked her English professor,
And was in his good gracious.
She read about Romeo and Juliet’s vowels,
And how he never got the letter from the fryer.
She read of the viscous murder in the Tell-Tale Heart,
And the emaciate conception
And the unchased women,
How the lover was great full for his girlfriend,
And how literature teaches us all
To cease the day.
— Beth DeMeo in the English Journal, March 2012