“Dead Sea Squirrels” by Beth DeMeo

April is National Poetry Month and as the month draws to a close here is a poem for all of us who enjoy the fun you can have with language.  I believe these are called malapropisms, but whatever they are they are funny!  Thanks to Melanie for passing the poem along.

Dead Sea Squirrels

Right from the gecko

She put in her two senses; 

No tudors in the writing center

No ten minuets on the computer

No number of classroom lesions

Could be taken for granite.  

She would have her paper view,

Her deceleration of independence.

“Life,” she wrote, “begins at contraception.”


She wasn’t a pre-Madonna,

Wasn’t interested in the Higher Archy; 

It was really one in the same,

A mute point, considering her verbal jesters,

But a bit of a nuance if

All her class precipitation wouldn’t be worth wild.  


She studied the dead sea squirrels

And the broke period,

And the mid-evil

And the futile system

And the reasons for a military to protect the boarders;

History, time in again, was a doggie dog world

With no daycare faculties.


She defiantly liked her English professor,

And was in his good gracious.

She read about Romeo and Juliet’s vowels,

And how he never got the letter from the fryer.

She read of the viscous murder in the Tell-Tale Heart,

And the emaciate conception

And the unchased women,

How the lover was great full for his girlfriend,

And how literature teaches us all

To cease the day.

— Beth DeMeo in the English Journal, March 2012